Monday, July 21, 2008
Explanation of Blog Title
I named the Blog the way I did because I have really had some blues with having Dana. I was never diagnosed with depression but boy have I cried and been down at times. But on the flip side, there have been so many beautiful moments with her. So Blues and Beauties...I will talk about them both I'm sure.
The first 18 months, Part 1-The Overview
January 10, 2007 - Dana was born at 5:08pm on her great grandfather's birthday. She was a mere 9 lbs, 1 oz and 21 inches long. Not a small child. Which explains why she came out with a broken collarbone. She also was jaundiced. But otherwise healthy. It was a happy moment, pushing my daughter into the world. I was induced, had an epidural and watched the whole thing in a mirror. It was awesome. She had way more hair than I did when I was born! Anyway, the day she was born, my life changed forever.
Although she had issues early on (collarbone, reflux, weight loss, and oh yea, RSV which put her back in the hospital for 2 weeks), Dana was a champion sleeper. She slept so well that feeding her was a nightmare. Keeping her awake at the breast was not easy but as she grew, it got easier and she gained weight. Breastfeeding was a nightmare. Everything that could go wrong, did and I hated it. Pumping was my punishment for hating breastfeeding. But my goal was a year and I would learn to love it more than I hated it. That's easy to say now, 18 months later.
Dana ate around the clock...7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, 10pm and on and on. We actually had to set an alarm clock in the beginning because she slept so much. But that soon changed. The days of me sleeping when I could, not showering and barely getting dressed began. The new mom thing wasn't easy. Finally getting rid all the pain down yonder was enough to remind me everything would be a phase but it was still hard. Learning the schedule, getting her down for naps, feedings...everything was about her but it didn't matter because I had wanted it for so long and she was awesome. DH was great with her. And when he wasn't working, he really did do everything he could to help us. I couldn't imagine how single mothers could function with an infant. Thank goodness I didn't have to worry about it.
As she got older, the schedule would change. Just as I would get into a routine, it would change. That has always been one of the hardest parts. Getting together with friends that had kids was virtually out of the question if they were older because of nap schedules and feedings. I was just in the beginning stages of finding that out. But in the beginning, I could take her wherever and let her sleep in the carrier. When she was 8 weeks we even took a weekend trip to Shell Beach to celebrate my birthday with my brother and sister-in-law. We didn't sleep much but at least we got out of the house.
Did I mention that breastfeeding was a nightmare? The clogged ducts, wondering if I was giving Dana reflux with everything I ate, pumping, the clogged ducts, nipple blisters, teething/pulling/biting, the clogged ducts.... It's amazing that I'm still doing it. Gotta love lactation consultants and being stubborn as all get out.
With breastfeeding being so difficult, feeding her solids came with some hesitations. The possible allergies, choking, the mess...issues that we didn't need to think about with only breastfeeding. She needed to gain weight and we were really pushed into getting her calories quickly. She LOVED avocado so that helped a lot. Jump to current day, there's a reason she's already 30 lbs.! Back to her at 6 months, she enjoyed eating new foods. Between 9-12 months her weight really shot up. There was nothing to worry about. Along with new foods, came the new schedule. REALLY hard to deal with because she had to nap at home now and I couldn't do things that I wanted to do. But again, that's having a new baby.
Since I'm journaling all the fun, I can't forget to talk about Dana's flat head and torticolis. Physical therapy with a 3 month old isn't easy. When you're forced to confront that your child is "damaged" because of how you let her sleep (in the swing when we had to), you feel like crap. Well, we did anyway. And we paid by having to take her for PT for many months. It did pay off though and at least we didn't have to put her in a helmet. Now her head is beautiful and she's no worse for wear.
What else am I forgetting.... Ok, so turns out Dana likes to take her time with developmental milestones. Rolling, crawling, walking, running, all those things that make you feel like you're a great parent because your kid is doing it on schedule....she was always taking her sweet time. New parents may take classes from nurses and others who tell them not to worry but when it's your first kid, you worry. I worried about her not developing the right way, I worried about her not being "up to speed" with the other kids her age, I just worried. The funny thing is that whenever someone told me not to worry, I worried. It's just the new Mom thing to do I guess. Again, I can look back and say she did what she needed to do and she's doing great. Phew!
I'm going to stop this part of my overview for now. There are going to be specific "chapters" of my overview that I will delve into because I feel that they are important to remember. Breastfeeding, RSV, nap schedules, mothers and mother-in-laws, things like that. I'm sure I will remember random things here and there too. That's mommy brain. I just want to make sure that I can look back on this when baby #2 is on the way and then maybe I won't worry as much. :)
Although she had issues early on (collarbone, reflux, weight loss, and oh yea, RSV which put her back in the hospital for 2 weeks), Dana was a champion sleeper. She slept so well that feeding her was a nightmare. Keeping her awake at the breast was not easy but as she grew, it got easier and she gained weight. Breastfeeding was a nightmare. Everything that could go wrong, did and I hated it. Pumping was my punishment for hating breastfeeding. But my goal was a year and I would learn to love it more than I hated it. That's easy to say now, 18 months later.
Dana ate around the clock...7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, 10pm and on and on. We actually had to set an alarm clock in the beginning because she slept so much. But that soon changed. The days of me sleeping when I could, not showering and barely getting dressed began. The new mom thing wasn't easy. Finally getting rid all the pain down yonder was enough to remind me everything would be a phase but it was still hard. Learning the schedule, getting her down for naps, feedings...everything was about her but it didn't matter because I had wanted it for so long and she was awesome. DH was great with her. And when he wasn't working, he really did do everything he could to help us. I couldn't imagine how single mothers could function with an infant. Thank goodness I didn't have to worry about it.
As she got older, the schedule would change. Just as I would get into a routine, it would change. That has always been one of the hardest parts. Getting together with friends that had kids was virtually out of the question if they were older because of nap schedules and feedings. I was just in the beginning stages of finding that out. But in the beginning, I could take her wherever and let her sleep in the carrier. When she was 8 weeks we even took a weekend trip to Shell Beach to celebrate my birthday with my brother and sister-in-law. We didn't sleep much but at least we got out of the house.
Did I mention that breastfeeding was a nightmare? The clogged ducts, wondering if I was giving Dana reflux with everything I ate, pumping, the clogged ducts, nipple blisters, teething/pulling/biting, the clogged ducts.... It's amazing that I'm still doing it. Gotta love lactation consultants and being stubborn as all get out.
With breastfeeding being so difficult, feeding her solids came with some hesitations. The possible allergies, choking, the mess...issues that we didn't need to think about with only breastfeeding. She needed to gain weight and we were really pushed into getting her calories quickly. She LOVED avocado so that helped a lot. Jump to current day, there's a reason she's already 30 lbs.! Back to her at 6 months, she enjoyed eating new foods. Between 9-12 months her weight really shot up. There was nothing to worry about. Along with new foods, came the new schedule. REALLY hard to deal with because she had to nap at home now and I couldn't do things that I wanted to do. But again, that's having a new baby.
Since I'm journaling all the fun, I can't forget to talk about Dana's flat head and torticolis. Physical therapy with a 3 month old isn't easy. When you're forced to confront that your child is "damaged" because of how you let her sleep (in the swing when we had to), you feel like crap. Well, we did anyway. And we paid by having to take her for PT for many months. It did pay off though and at least we didn't have to put her in a helmet. Now her head is beautiful and she's no worse for wear.
What else am I forgetting.... Ok, so turns out Dana likes to take her time with developmental milestones. Rolling, crawling, walking, running, all those things that make you feel like you're a great parent because your kid is doing it on schedule....she was always taking her sweet time. New parents may take classes from nurses and others who tell them not to worry but when it's your first kid, you worry. I worried about her not developing the right way, I worried about her not being "up to speed" with the other kids her age, I just worried. The funny thing is that whenever someone told me not to worry, I worried. It's just the new Mom thing to do I guess. Again, I can look back and say she did what she needed to do and she's doing great. Phew!
I'm going to stop this part of my overview for now. There are going to be specific "chapters" of my overview that I will delve into because I feel that they are important to remember. Breastfeeding, RSV, nap schedules, mothers and mother-in-laws, things like that. I'm sure I will remember random things here and there too. That's mommy brain. I just want to make sure that I can look back on this when baby #2 is on the way and then maybe I won't worry as much. :)
Better late than never...
Well, I'm finally getting around to journaling my trials and tribulations as a first time Mom. Dana's 18 months old now. A toddler. I suppose I should have started this when she was born. But better late than never. Right now I'm in a transition stage so I guess it's a good time to start. I'm weaning her from the boobs. It took me this long but as supermom, it took a lot to get here. But instead of starting with the story of weaning, I think I should start with the last 18 months. Just not at the moment because I need to get up... my butt is asleep and it was a long 18 months.
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